Being active in my community

I am involved in my church in a very dedicated way. I have always been so, even as a single young adult, but now I am married to the pastor. I find my life inextricably interwoven with the life of the church. However, this does not mean that I am healthfully engaged in my community. I tend to live a community life vicariously through my husband's ministries. But, I had an experience that took me out of my comfort zone -- my husband signed us both up to be over-night hosts for IHN (Interfaith Hospitality Network).

IHN provides temporary shelter and meals for those without a home. Several area churches share the responsibility of providing a place to sleep and two meals per day (evening and breakfast) for a week at a time. Guests stay at the church building, along with an overnight host.

I wasn't too thrilled that my husband signed me up. He usually doesn't volunteer me for things. But, there was a need and our children were away at the time and so there was no excuse for me. Off we went to provide hosting for strangers in need!

My personality type is heavily introverted. I don't meet strangers easily no matter who they are. I hope that this was my only aversion to being a host, but I'm not entirely certain. The people there were not like me. There were families with only a mom, families with only a dad, and families with both. There were families whose skin was a different shade from mine, and there were families with different socio-economic resources from mine. I was uneasy and uncomfortable.

It was fun to watch my very extroverted and sociable husband interact with people. I was fearful I couldn't remember their names. He just asked for their names over again if he forgot. I was worried that I would offend. He just asked if he could help in some way. As the evening wore on and families began to settle in after the evening meal -- children working on homework, parents watching TV or playing a game with younger children -- I looked around and felt some shame at my standoffishness. These people were just like me in so many ways. I began to relax and went to make some tea. A couple of dads were in the kitchen making popcorn and we began to talk. They had returned from tours of duty in Iraq and they had lots of stories to tell about their experiences. While I can't say that I was enamored of the conversation, I was pleased to listen and learn from them and glad that I could let my guard down a little.

I have a long ways to go to learning how to help others and how to be comfortable with strangers. We have a weekly food pantry at our church. I hope to sign up to help during the summer (or maybe during Christmas break). My husband loves pantry days, because he gets to talk to people and play with the children who come with their mothers. He's a good model for me.